


The Side Effects of Advil

by EuphoricDystopia



Series: Natasha and Loki in the Sky with Diamonds (But Not Really) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Advil clearly needs to modify their warning labels, Crack, F/M, Gen, Not poor Natasha, Okay it's pretty much just crack, Other, Poor Loki, Poor Tony, References galore, Semi-cracky, She's having way too much fun, Tony doesn't know what to think, mindfuckery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EuphoricDystopia/pseuds/EuphoricDystopia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony really wished Advil's warning label had accounted for dosing an Asgardian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Side Effects of Advil

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhat random. Inspired by one thing in particular, but also includes a reference to Supernatural (and obviously Brokeback Mountain).

This had to be one of the strangest scenes Tony had ever walked in on, and this included the time he saw Thor crooning to a tiny plastic Thor figurine and heard moans as he beat a hasty retreat. (Don’t ask; Tony doesn’t know, and he’s not sure if he _wants_ to know.) But what was happening at the present starred the other half of the Brokeback Mountain duo. (He's positive that there is some serious homoerotic subtext going on there.)

Loki had the _dopiest_ look on his face as he peered through mostly closed lids at the redhead sitting across from him, and Tony could hardly believe what came out of his mouth next:

“You have eyes.”

“Yes, I do.” Natasha seemed to be handling the God of Mischief’s mental breakdown fairly well; Tony, on the other hand, jaw slack and eyebrows in the stratosphere, was struck dumb.

“Two of them.” He held up two fingers.

“Two of them, yes.” Natasha said patiently, if not a little patronizingly.

Loki’s reaction was to let out a little snort-giggle—Tony didn’t even know a god of mischief could giggle! Cackling or tittering, sure, that’s probably par for the course, but giggling _a la_ female prepubescent teens?

 _That must be some acid trip,_ thought Tony, _maybe courtesy of Natasha—those Russians and their illicit dealings and all._ Tony made a note to himself to find out more about Natasha’s underground dealers, provided, of course, that he could do so without getting caught. For someone not considered the tech master of their group, she sure had an impressive way of finding out what mischief Tony was getting up to in the electronic world. As S.H.I.E.L.D.’s go-to kick-ass assassin, her methods of punishment were particularly inspired; he still had phantom pains in his left wrist. It had made nights when Pepper was away very lonely.

When Loki started squishing Natasha’s face, Tony couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Wow.” He stared. Why wasn’t Natasha pummeling Loki into the ground for his gratuitous…face-molesting? (Because let's be honest, that's pretty much what he's doing.)

Her eyes flicked over to him, although Tony was sure she had known he was there since he first rounded the corner (or even before then.)

“Will you excuse me a moment?” Natasha directed her question at Loki.

He made a sound of acquiescence and Natasha carefully removed his hands from her face and placed them on his lap, giving them two “stay here” kind of pats, before rising to talk to Tony.

Natasha sighed, “It seems your regular over-the-counter painkillers have a similar effect as ketamine when given to an Asgardian.”

Loki shifted on the couch, bringing both of his legs beneath him onto the seat cushion. How that was comfortable for a man who was all limbs, Tony didn’t know. His expression retained that dopey smile the entire time.

“Uhuh,” he managed. This earned him one raised eyebrow. He cleared his throat and endeavored to be more eloquent, “Did I just walk into one of your kinky sex games?” He smirked. There. Tony was at the top of his game again.

Natasha gave him a feral grin. “You walked into the aftermath of one. Loki pulled his groin.”

Tony stared.

Natasha didn’t blink.

Tony continued staring. He was all for kinky sex, but putting Black Widow, Loki, groin, and kink in the same sentence made his brain go on the fritz for some reason. It felt unnatural; more than that, _he_ felt violated. He, Tony Stark, felt dirty when he thought about...what might have transgressed. Tony felt sick, like he needed to reevaluate his world views.

“You aren’t serious, are you?” He asked weakly.

“What do you think?”

That was the problem, though: Tony didn’t know what to think. “I’m just going to go now...” he let his sentence trail off as he backed away, leaving for the sanity and (relative) safety of his lab.

Oh, how he hated that spiders liked to play with their food!

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone catch all of the references? :) If you did, BE MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER. I CONSTANTLY MAKE REFERENCES IN EVERYDAY LIFE THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. But that's okay, because I think it's funny anyway. :D And no one thinks I'm crazy as I walk around laughing to myself.


End file.
